About grlowefair
I was born in Jourdanton, Texas and started being abducted by aliens when I was about two years old. My parents let me watch television and sing all of the lyrics to Olivia Newton John´s ¨Physical,¨ so I became an ugly rebel. I fought through my escalator phobia caused by the alien abductions, and my feelings towards Gi San and others who taught me how to read as my parents worked on their dreams of American success. Thank you again, Gi San. I know. You are invisible. They can´t see you, but I know that you know that even though you pretend to be aliens and will not move me from a volunteer internship at Boeing-mcdonnell douglass, that someday we will be friends. I have a breathing disorder to, courtesy of the American military which causes me to hyperventilate and have chronic partial seizures. Again, thanks to Boeing. I excelled at everything, can do anything, joined Mensa, went to Georgetown Law, and met up again with these aliens who mistakenly heard that I was ¨el coeda,¨ the transgendered student and thought it meant al quaeda. It took 23 years for me to realize how cool I am, because some religious, conservative Christian guy beat me up then for being transgendered. I still get abducted and it is annoying, but leaders from other countries usually create mean ways to get back at these people and I am innocent. If they can´t tell I´m Russian and have to use surveillance on me, then how can I tell they are not real aliens under the saran wrap? Again, Gi San, please show your face. Your only redeeming feature is the fact that you teach young, transgendered babies from South Texas how to read at a young age when their parents would not or could not. I have a degree in quantitative economics and a minor in mathematics. I have modeled for national television. Religious people hate me because I have a closer relationship with G-d than they do, because I go up in the little ships. I am saving money for a hyperbaric oxygen bed, but I am trying to lobby Boeing and the US Army to correct the breathing disorder. My efforts are usually in vain, due to the hearing problem the CIA and US Army has (el coeda vs. al quaeda) and the fact that the ¨aliens¨ seem to want everyone to join fundamentalist Christian groups and I smoked too many cigarettes there and tried to join the Scientologists instead. I play classical cello and soloed with two orchestras before I was of age. I still don´t know what that means considering I roll with the alien crew who is all for whatever reason strictly fundamentalist Christian again. I have never heard of anyone being abducted by aliens and feeling the urge to attend an Orthodox Jewish Synagogue. Enough already about the aliens, I get it. I would like to have a child some day. I have been pregnant three times, but the fetuses disappear. After 2001 and the U.S. government hearing problem I am compensating for as part of the usual penalty for smart people in the U.S., I am depressed, bipolar, and love to drink to further support Boeing´s efforts to make me look insane because I am a transgendered student. My favorite hobbies are peaceful protest of the Patriot Act (where one stages a movie for the cameras), eating cheese and wine, talking with friends, becoming an adult, learning about aliens who only follow the Jesus religion, trying to think of one redeeming quality every time I criticize someone unfairly, writing jokes, meeting people, and wondering what I did at two to be unfairly targeted, harassed, and abused so someone could sell more airplanes.
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